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Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category
Bush visits Rochester, meets austisic basketball player. Read the story, post your best evil/funny reply below.
Wow.
I still predict puppy kicking in next year’s state of the union
Damn it, my absentee ballot is already in the hands of Erie County electoral board, so all I can do now about the election is pound sand and yell.
And write this article, of course. Who would the characters in the Simpson’s vote for? Some are obvious (quick Lauren/Mabry, who are the members of the Springfield Republican’s club?). Maybe this will help those last undecideds (shit or get off the pot!) in who they will vote for.
Homer – A nice enough, middle class white guy. He should vote democrat, but would probably get suckered and vote Republican. No worry though, he’ll mess up his ballot and not be counted.
Lisa – A tree hugging hippy in training, with no view of the real world. Sure she’s only 8, but with 12+ years of seasons, she’s actually 20 and currently at Vassar. She’ll protest Bush twice daily, but won’t be able to understand how her vote for Cobb (Nader was sooooo four years ago) is hurting Kerry (assuming Springfield is in a swing state).
Edna Krabappel - A hardworking teacher who has left many children behind (with the heartwarming exception of passing Bart with a D-). She’s a jaded realist, and is known for complaining about lacking funds (she even started a strike). She’ll see that Bush has drastically underfunded NCLB, and vote for Kerry.
Krusy the Klown – A Jewish man in the entertainment business, easy score for Kerry.
Fat Tony – As a man in underground crime, he wants the cops out of his hair. Kerry is a former prosecutor, and Bush is all big brother, so I see Fat Tony casting his vote for Badarnik, the libertarian.
Moe – The token small business owner. I say he votes for Bush, if only because the increase in unemployment always helps those who serve alcohol.
Flanders – The religious right, he’s a strong Bush backer.
Lenny and Carl – They support Kerry, as they don’t want Bush to be able to pass his anti-gay marriage amendment.
Smithers – Ditto.
Stampy – He’s an elephant, easy Bush vote. But once again, he’s an elephant, so he can’t vote.
Grandpa Simpson – An old (old) Roosevelt Democrat, he may be able to mobilize the entire Senior’s center to vote (the old have great turnout numbers you know).
That’s all I can think of for now, chime in with your own guesses. Heck, branch out to futurama and Family Guy if you’re feeling it. Really explore the studio space with this one.